Chchchchanges
by Duo-chan Maxwell
Summary: A strange disease is spreading through the world. Whomever catch it acquire animal characteristics. It's entering Ohio now...
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Ch-ch-ch-changes

**Author:** Duo-chan Maxwell

**Rating:**Now, G. NC-17 later.

**Characters/Pairings:** TBD

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee. This piece of fiction is for entertainment purposes only. Contains slash, femslash and het. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. Spare me from the flames. Non-native English speaker, unbeta-ed.

**Summary:** written for the glee_kink_meme prompt "Anthropomorphism - There's a virus going around the planet that has, up to that point, stayed out of Ohio. When it strikes people are swept with animal characteristics which fade after a week or so. (And of course, since it's the kink meme, everything leads to sexytimes: dog/wolf characteristics lead to alpha dominance, cats love to be petted and go into heat, wings and tails are erogenous zones, etc. etc.)  
At least some people decide to take advantage of the changes while they're around." BTW, the correct term is "zoomorphism".

**Chapter 1 - Newsflash**

October 19

Birding diseases

Today was disclosed to the world the first case of a strange disease. A 15-old girl in Paris came up with common cold symptoms and back ache. Her parents took her to the hospital when the skin near her shoulder blades started to break. The clinic was dumbfounded to see, a day later, that the girl actually grew wings. Its real functionality is yet to be discovered, as well as the cause.

October 23

Spreading

New cases of the so-called bird-flu started appearing in the Paris region. Some of them are related to the initial case (being classmates and friends) and some have no connection. Symptoms manifest in various degrees, from light feathering to other bird-like anomalies not shown by the first case. Apparently, this disease is contagious, although the way of transmission and infectious agent are still unknown, and the Paris region was put under quarantine.

October 28

Mutation!

The infectious agent appears to mutate or have various strains. This led to the renaming of the disease from bird-flu to acquired zoomorphic syndrome. French Public Health Department already recorded twelve strains, classified according the symptoms showed by infected patients: Felidae-like, Canidae-like, Equidae-like, Ursidae-like, Sciuridae-like, Muridae-like, Leporidae-like, Accipitridae-like, Anatidae-like, Muscicapidae-like, Turdidae-like and Fringillidae-like.

November 3

Remission and new cases spotted

We start today's news with good and bad news. The good news is that the first cases of the zoomorphic syndrome entered in remission with no sequels. The bad news is that new cases were spotted in other points of the world, in whole Western Europe, Japan, India, China, Australia, New Zealand, Northern Africa, Brazil, Argentina, Mexico and Western Coast of the USA.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Ch-ch-ch-changes

**Author:** Duo-chan Maxwell

**Rating:**Now, PG-13, for suggestive language. All the way to NC-17 later.

**Characters/Pairings:** TBD

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee. This piece of fiction is for entertainment purposes only. Contains slash, femslash and het. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. Spare me from the flames. Non-native English speaker, unbeta-ed.

**Summary:** written for the glee_kink_meme prompt "Anthropomorphism - There's a virus going around the planet that has, up to that point, stayed out of Ohio. When it strikes people are swept with animal characteristics which fade after a week or so. (And of course, since it's the kink meme, everything leads to sexytimes: dog/wolf characteristics lead to alpha dominance, cats love to be petted and go into heat, wings and tails are erogenous zones, etc. etc.)  
At least some people decide to take advantage of the changes while they're around." BTW, the correct term is "zoomorphism".

**Chapter 2 – Chit-chat **

"Did you see that? This animal disease? I'd be pretty cool to have wings! Heard that the first girl was able to fly!"

"Are you crazy? What if you get something like a rat flu? A beaver flu? Or worse, a worm flu?"

"Do you think that this animal thing can change our brains? Like in 'Rainbow's End'?"

"I hope I don't get a donkey flu or something stupid like that. It'd just screw my grades!"

"Thankfully this thing it's out of Ohio! By the way, did you heard that entire Miami was quarantined?"

"My cousin in LA got dog flu. He said that he sprouted a tail and ears. And he freaked out because he started liking his steak very rare. Well… guess he freaked out because he started liking steak, he was a vegetarian, for God's sake!"

"I'd like to catch cat flu. Only then I could get flexible enough to do all the routines Coach Sylvester gives us. And if I fall from a pyramid or something I wouldn't get hurt."

"And it'd totally win you the Halloween Queen this year."

"Dude, what do you think you'll get if you have horse flu?"

"Hell, the girls would really like that. Get it? Horse?"

"Face it, Kurt. The only way for you to even TOUCH my singing prowess is getting yourself nightingale flu. I'm getting this solo."

"And nothing would suit you better than peacock flu, Rachel. Oh, wait, female peacocks don't stand out at all, not that you need any more showing yourself off than you already do."

"Awww, don't you think that it'd be really lovely having a nightingale Kurt? All birdie with wings and cocking his head to the side?"

"It'd be weird, Brittany. He would resemble Pavarotti way too much…"

Author Note: you might have noticed by now that both Blaine and Kurt are in McKinley. Because I want to. I think it'd be funnier this way. Period.

Thanks to: lil_miss_choc for her kind review in LJ, ShadowCub for the review with site tips, purpleb15 and ShadowCub for the faves =]


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Ch-ch-ch-changes

**Author:** Duo-chan Maxwell

**Rating: **Now, PG-13, for suggestive language. All the way to NC-17 later.

**Characters/Pairings:** for this chapter, Klaine.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee. This piece of fiction is for entertainment purposes only. The opening line of this chapter rightfully belongs to Darren Criss. Contains slash, femslash and het. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. Spare me from the flames. Non-native English speaker, unbeta-ed. Written in a Blaine-like voice.

**Summary:** written for the glee_kink_meme prompt "Anthropomorphism - There's a virus going around the planet that has, up to that point, stayed out of Ohio. When it strikes people are swept with animal characteristics which fade after a week or so. (And of course, since it's the kink meme, everything leads to sexytimes: dog/wolf characteristics lead to alpha dominance, cats love to be petted and go into heat, wings and tails are erogenous zones, etc. etc.)  
At least some people decide to take advantage of the changes while they're around." BTW, the correct term is "zoomorphism". Spoilers to 2x14 (pretty much everything). Very indirectly, just to say I warned you.

**Chapter 3 – ****Candle-lit chicken broth**

"Dear Common Cold, let me off the hook for just today. It'll be for a good cause, I promise." A very good cause. His date with Kurt. Murphy for sure HATED him. Just when both of them worked up the guts to go on a date (which triggered a Wes-led choir of "Messiah" from the Warblers when Blaine crumbled down under the pressure they were giving him for being the jerk he was to Kurt and spilled the beans for him and David), THIS happens. If he was lucky enough to earn a kiss, he'd better start praying to NOT infect the soprano with his virus. Oh, well, not that he would start a kiss with himself in this awful state. He wouldn't wish the torment of this cold even for the worst bully that ever touched Earth. Nose running, sneezing fits, faces flushed, throat sore (oh, pain… no Glee for him today… and tomorrow…and for a whole week), killing headaches. Thankfully he wasn't feverish. "Aw, come on, collaborate with me, pretty please?"

"Just so you know, talking with you head usually is the first sign of insanity."

Blaine almost jumped out of his bones when he heard the lighter-than-air voice tease him playfully. His life couldn't get worse, could it? Better shut up before someone up/down/whatever there with devious intentions hear him.

"Well, hello, Kurt Hummel. How can I be of assistance?" he asked, purposefully more dapper and polite than usual.

"You're such a tease, Blaine. I wanted to ask you where do you intend to take me, so I can choose an appropriate outfit. Or are you willing to surprise me?"

The former Warbler smiled playfully. He didn't intend to surprise Kurt. Not yet. Not that he could surprise Kurt in a city like Lima, with so little entertainment options.

"Nowhere you couldn't guess by yourself. A movie and dinner at Breadstix. And maybe a coffee somewhere if you feel like it." It would be charming if he didn't have a sneezing fit right after he finished the sentence. He flushed when Kurt, always prepared (he wondered if Kurt had been with the boy scouts. The thought of that boy in a scout uniform was lovely. And kind of hot in a way he considered very very twisted of himself to think of, but just picturing that ungodly long legs in that shorts… ok, stop trailing off), offered him some Kleenex. Blaine just couldn't point if it was because of the embarrassment or because of the cold.

"Now, considering your current health status, I have a different proposal…"

Blaine arched one of his eyebrows, tipping lightly his head to the side (and returning it to his original position when he realized that he might look like Pavarotti when it saw something sparkly) and just eyed Kurt curiously before giving in and asked:

"And what would that be?"

"Opposed to you, I'm hiding my hand. Why don't you come to my place the same time we agreed before and bring a change of clothes? I know it's kind of hard for you, but bring something simple and comfy."

Hard for Blaine? Says the guy who walks around school in designer clothes everyday and wouldn't go to the drugstore at 2 AM without at least one piece of cloth worth more than 200 bucks. By the way, he should better go to the drugstore himself and try to get something for his cold.

"Okay, I'll call your bluff."

"So, at 7. Don't be late!"

Kurt scampered quickly to his next class (French. No way he was going to miss that) and looked behind at Blaine just to wink teasingly to the shorter boy, leaving him flushed and longing as he looked that lean figure strutted down the hallway.

His own Pre-Calculus was just as boring as he expected to be . Limit functions almost made him yawn. Almost. He was too polite for that (contrary to some fellow students who were sound asleep on their desks. Some of them even had little puddles of drool. Yuck.). Only ten minutes to the class to end he was already fidgeting. If he went to Glee (despite the temporary lack of pulmonary capability and a raspy pitch added to his voice that would just screw harmonizing) he would only have time for a quick shower and a visit to the drugstore to fetch some cold remedy would be out of question. His hypochondriac aunt with whom he lived in Lima didn't have any. He double-checked it. How come someone have medicine to treat diseases from type 2 diabetes to leishmaniosis and NOT have a simple bottle of NyQuil?

He decided to show his face at Glee only to be dismissed by Mr. Schue, who didn't want to get any of the other members infected by that nasty cold. Blaine smiled in gratitude as he did as he planned: went to the drugstore, took a nice warm bath and got himself psychologically ready for whatever Kurt had planned.

Being the dapper gentleman he was, he knocked on the Hummel-Hudson household's door precisely at 7, noticing a slight shuffle inside and in mere seconds a slightly distressed and embarrassed Finn Hudson answered the door. Not what he expected.

"Erm… Kurt had a little… accident. If you want to drop your things in his room, I don't think he'll mind."

He couldn't help arching a eyebrow in curiosity, wondering what kind of "accident" Kurt had and if he, Blaine, was the cause. He followed the Frankenteen to Kurt's room and took a few seconds to appreciate the soprano's good taste in decór (he could make a living on this if he wanted) before getting himself wondering _where_ he could place his pack without pissing Kurt off.

"You'll be fine if you put it on the chair. If you DARE to put it on my bed, I'll kill you with my bare hands."

Blaine smiled when he heard the perky tone, and gladly complied, not wanting to put himself in trouble.

"Now would you tell what you have in store for me, Kurt?" he stated, looking flirtatiously at Kurt, who flashed him that Mona Lisa smile. Words were not going to come off that pink, pretty, deli… er… mouth this soon.

"Aham… are you two always _this_ proper with each other?"

"No, Finn Hudson. But at least we don't call each other 'dude'. Now, why don't you go back to your Halo or whatever other exceedingly violent videogame you happen to be playing?"

Finn went back to his couch-surfing session, leaving a half-annoyed-half-giddy Kurt to deal with his sick boyfriend. Well, not exactly deal, but try to maintain the flirtatiousness of their "date" in spite of the situation.

Blaine was keeping his curiosity at bay when the soprano took his hand and led him to the kitchen, revealing that the table was in its formal regalia, a nice set of porcelain dish and bowl (might have been from the Hummel-Hudson wedding set) with very very clean and neatly arranged silverware (sometimes he was SO sure that Kurt had OCD to some extent). The cherry on top of all the romantic dinner paraphernalia was the twin candleholder, lean and elegant in its metallic glory. It made Blaine go from curious to amused.

And then he went to WTF as his cold remedy kicked in and he regained his sense of smell, being now able to recognize what was boiling on the stove.

"Considering the circumstances, a romantic dinner at Breadstix is a little out of hand, but who said that we can't enjoy a romantic dinner at home?"

"But chicken broth?"

"Well, as I said, considering the circumstances… "

Author notes:

1 – "Messiah" is the name of that church/Gregorian choir song which most known part repeats "hallelujah" _ad nauseam_.

2 – Many thanks to all of the readers, specially ShadowCub from and lil_miss_choc from LJ =] Also many thanks to all of glee_kink_meme voters for the poll! As soon Klaine part finishes, another one is coming up!

3 – Phew, this is the longest chapter I ever wrote! Counted 1536 words!


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